Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
time to smoke my breakfast
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
