he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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