My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i will never coherently bang her
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
