I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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