On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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