If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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