I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
