My nipple is on Facebook.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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