he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
