no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
