dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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