just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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