thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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