Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize