As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
