I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize