Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
