I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
