Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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