I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
