Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
