yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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