Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i drank out of a bidet.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
