did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
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It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa