I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
