Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.

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  (215): So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her. http://tfl.nu/lt69
  Replies (23) Good night (1020) Bad night (4112)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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  (402): giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/384y
  Replies (57) Good night (4254) Bad night (978)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control

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  (716): i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control http://tfl.nu/09xh
  Replies (24) Good night (1302) Bad night (3594)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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  (828): I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995. http://tfl.nu/siku
  Replies (17) Good night (2713) Bad night (731)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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  (509): im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid http://tfl.nu/xma9
  Replies (48) Good night (7819) Bad night (827)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

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  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6209) Bad night (1237)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

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  (269): when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way. http://tfl.nu/230k
  Replies (16) Good night (7393) Bad night (1037)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.

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  (402): I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes. http://tfl.nu/zfk3
  Replies (9) Good night (3195) Bad night (1396)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

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  (317): Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship. http://tfl.nu/wcss
  Replies (8) Good night (2066) Bad night (1117)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?

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  (203): Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight? http://tfl.nu/h4cr
  Replies (8) Good night (1565) Bad night (610)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

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  (209): I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/devk
  Replies (11) Good night (2240) Bad night (629)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.

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  (308): I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll. http://tfl.nu/yzo7
  Replies (0) Good night (918) Bad night (534)
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  (310): View more from California

  Is cereal technically a soup?

  (310): View more from California

  Fuck, I'm high.

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  (310): Is cereal technically a soup? (310): Fuck, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/od51
  Replies (9) Good night (1517) Bad night (429)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night

  (434): View more from Virginia

  then apparently I went "not bad" and continued

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  (434): I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night (434): then apparently I went "not bad" and continued http://tfl.nu/4s21
  Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (355)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you

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  (615): well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you http://tfl.nu/f9wz
  Replies (1) Good night (242) Bad night (415)

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