i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
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I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.