Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My mom found a condom in my purse

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.

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  (513): My mom found a condom in my purse (513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse. http://tfl.nu/gxhf
  Replies (47) Good night (779) Bad night (4860)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  we need to stop having unprotected sex.

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.

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  (319): we need to stop having unprotected sex. (1-319): ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores. http://tfl.nu/85im
  Replies (31) Good night (1227) Bad night (4221)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative

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  (707): You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative http://tfl.nu/7tsg
  Replies (16) Good night (1217) Bad night (5722)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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  (780): I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/nb18
  Replies (8) Good night (3562) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext

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  (858): God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext http://tfl.nu/49np
  Replies (22) Good night (6406) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I love how my cats smell like pot.

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  (410): I love how my cats smell like pot. http://tfl.nu/85ca
  Replies (12) Good night (4604) Bad night (1437)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.

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  (301): He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him. http://tfl.nu/18rr
  Replies (6) Good night (4450) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart

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  (406): she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart http://tfl.nu/bwi5
  Replies (9) Good night (1682) Bad night (3751)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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  (717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9
  Replies (2) Good night (832) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.

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  (434): Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care. http://tfl.nu/ksws
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

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  (204): I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/94j1
  Replies (6) Good night (332) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.

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  (606): When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up. http://tfl.nu/8sfz
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.

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  (801): I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta. http://tfl.nu/x5wu
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.

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  (352): You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on. http://tfl.nu/uyd0
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s

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  (805): The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s http://tfl.nu/0nr9
  Replies (8) Good night (438) Bad night (321)

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