i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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