She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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