Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
