We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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