that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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