Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
