hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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