My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im drinking this country out of the recession.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
