That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
