She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were trust falling into bushes
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
