sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the day after is always just damage control
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize