in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
ttyl tear gas
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
