I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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