You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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