You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
