First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
