Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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