you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have post one night stand depression
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