the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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