They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
