We're like a lot better than the average bears
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
