Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
