those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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