so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
