i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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