It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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