69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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