I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
