started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize