I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
