i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
