Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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