can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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