I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
