He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
