it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
