how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sorry about my life...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
