Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
