Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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