I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he puts the penis in happiness.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
